Deal
by idioticonion
Summary: Marshall catches Ted in bed, doing someone he shouldn't be doing. This is M/M Slash Fiction, so be warned!


**Deal**

"If this is gonna happen on occasion… we can't tell _anyone_ about this? I _mean_ it! Deal?"

Marshall poked his head around Ted's bedroom door and said "Deal!" into the darkened room.

There was a very girly scream (Ted, obviously) and a hurried rustle of covers before Marshall flipped on the light. "Honestly Ted, I thought you two were done with this?"

"Marshall! What in the heck are you doing here?" Ted's face was flushed, his hair flattened on one side and he had what looked suspiciously like a hickey on his neck.

"Just came by to see why _you_ didn't turn up for work this morning. Thought you might be sick or something." Marshall grinned, not budging form the doorway. "Come on, Robin, I know you're in there. It's not like you're usually this bashfu-"

Marshall stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh crap."

"Yeah…" Ted said, glancing down to find Barney's blonde head slowly emerging from under the covers. They both looked pretty sheepish.

Marshall took a step back, bumping against the door, a magazine dropping from his numb fingers. "Whoa!"

Barney rolled his eyes. "Oh stop being such a prude, Marshall. It's not like you haven't seem a dude in bed with another dude before!"

Ted snorted.

"No, really. You guys went to college. You're telling me you never experimented?" Barney continued.

Marshall looked outraged. "Dude! I met Lily on my first day!"

Barney looked over at Ted. "Well there's no way my Bro here got all his skills from jerking off in the mirror."

Ted coughed and looked away.

"Ted Mosby," Barney said with a grin and a wink to Marshall, "Don't tell me that someone _else_ besides Marshall took your cherry?"

"What do you mean, _besides_?" Marshall demanded.

Barney laughed. "Eriksen, do you seriously expect me to believe that you've never nailed Ted?"

"How dare you! I wouldn't-"

Barney grinned annoyingly. "Whatever, dude. We've done it, like, four times! And that's just proves I'm better friends with Ted than you are!"

Ted tugged Barney's arm and mumbled. "Well, that's not strictly true."

"Say _what_?" Barney said, clearly outraged.

Ted shook his head, backtracking. "Not the friends thing, the never-having-had-sex-with-Marshall thing…"

"Dude!" Marshall said, giving Ted a pointed look.

"I know I said we'd never tell, but-" Ted glanced across at Barney guiltily.

Barney sat up, an eager look in his eyes. "Ooo, do I smell dirt?" He patted the bedclothes beside him. "Take a pew, Marshall."

Marshall swallowed, his eyes travelling automatically (and lingeringly) over Barney's naked torso before he had the chance to stop himself.

"Marshall, are you checking me out?" Barney said, flexing his muscles.

Ted hit him. "Will you _shut up_ and let me tell the story?"

Barney shrugged. "Yadda yadda yadda, you and Marshall once jerked each other off while eating a sandwhich or three, yadda yadda. That about cover it? Can we get on with the hot, three-way sex now?"

Ted laughed as Barney's hand snaked under the covers, resting very obviously over Ted's groin. "You're incorrigible."

Marshall shook his head, gaping.

"Close your mouth, Bro!" Barney piped up, his hand moving over Ted's cock until it made a tent in the bedclothes. "Unless you want Ted here to put something in it?"

Marshall closed his mouth with a snap, then swallowed.

"Well… uh… do you?" Ted moaned, his legs moving, eyelids fluttering.

Barney quirked an eyebrow.

Marshall looked thoughtful for a moment, then seemed to come to a decision. He shrugged off his jacket. "You can never, ever, ever, _ever_ tell Lily."

"Are you _kidding_?" Barney laughed. "She'd love it. But she'd never believe it. She'd think you were making it up!" Ted was kicking the bedclothes, revealing a hint of hip bone and Barney's knuckles. "Except for the part about how awesome I am in bed." He gave Marshall a wink.

Marshall unbuttoned the top of his shirt, pulling it over his head, then quickly kicked off his pants, leaving him standing in his underwear, his dick clearly semi-erect.

"N-nice…" Ted groaned. "D-didn't I tell you he had an amazing cock, Barn?"

Barney laughed and beckoned Marshall onto the bed, throwing back the covers. Still jerking Ted off he slid his other hand under Marshall's boxers, pulling them down.

"Wow… multitasking…" Marshall grinned.

"'ve had a lot of practice," Barney countered, as Marshall leaned over him, his own erect penis brushing against Barney's, warm skin against warm skin. Barney shivered and let out a tiny moan before Marshall kissed him hard, on the lips.

A few minutes (and plenty of tongue) later, he pulled back, grinning. "Always wanted to do that!"

Barney grinned cheekily. "Only had to ask, Bro. Only had to ask."

Meanwhile, Ted was now writhing on the bed and Barney loosened his grip. "So, who gets to do who?"

"Roshambo for it?" Ted suggested.

"Usually works."

They all stuck out a fist for rock-paper-scissors. First round, Ted lost to Barney. "I think he loses deliberately," Barney commented. "Dude just loves to take it up the ass." Ted blushed. Second round, Ted lost to Marshall. "You see?" Barney said with a wink.

"Oh man, will you shut up and fuck me already?" Ted complained.

Barney solemnly handed Marshall a condom, although his eyes were sparkling. He turned Ted over and got him on to his knees while he tore open his own condom with his teeth and sheathed his erection. Marshall followed suit and soon had Ted's lips wrapped around the tip.

Barney meanwhile had reached between Ted's legs and was playing with his balls and cock until Ted was wriggling under him. Giving his ass-cheeks a resounding slap, Barney squirted a considerable amount of lube between Ted's buttocks, pressing a single finger inside him and wriggling it around on a quest for Ted's prostate. He and Marshall both knew when Barney hit it because Ted practically swallowed Marshall's dick whole and his ass bounced up and down eagerly.

Barney groaned, pumping his own cock a couple of times before coating it liberally with lube and pushing it gently and firmly against Ted's ass-hole. Ted groaned, his throat reverberating nicely around Marshall's dick as Barney slid inside him.

"Oooo, boy… that's smooth, Mosby…" Barney muttered as he began to thrust, carefully at first, but then more firmly. Ted moaned fitfully, then more and more loudly as Barney built up his rhythm, one hand pumping Ted's cock in time to his own thrusts.

"Oh… fuck!" Barney said through gritted teeth. "Fuck, Bro, you are _so_ tight…" He grunted as he began to pound Ted hard, Marshall crying out as he lost it completely and ejaculated into the latex. He pulled out just in time for Ted to scream - "I'm ah! I'm coming! Fuck!" as he and Barney came together in a cacophony of grunts and yells.

All there of them collapsed on to the bed in a tangle of limbs, heavy breathing and wilting dicks.

"Now _that's_ what I call legen… wait for it…"

"Wow…"

"Oh man…"

"DARY!"

They all laughed. "It sure was." Marshall conceded.

Ted swallowed. "And, you know… If this is gonna _keep_ happening on occasion… we can't tell _anyone_ about this? I _really_ mean it! Deal?"

"Deal!" Barney said.

"Deal…" Marshall groaned, exhausted.

"Deal," came a woman's voice from the direction of the door, and a throaty chuckle.


End file.
